There is nothing more worrisome for me than not being readily available to take care of Deacon. I have been no more than 15 minutes away at all times since he was diagnosed in 2007. This has always been comforting to me. Last year I was very fortunate to be taking online classes for both semesters. I was free to handle anything at any time.
Tomorrow I will be commuting to where I will attend college for, hopefully, two years. I do not know which is harder; attending classes and doing the homework while raising four boys, or letting go of the control I have had and letting others take care of Deacon. Right now the idea of getting into my minivan and driving 45 minutes away is pretty daunting, and I want to be like my son, who started middle school last week, and yell, “I don’t want to go.” Yes, I am being childish and I know it.
I spent last week writing list after list of phone numbers, hypo and hyper symptoms, simple protocols and meeting with nurses and teachers. Today I spent the afternoon talking with my father about different procedures for Deacon, having him practice with the glucagon and performing a site change so that my father could get more familiar with it. Everyone who needs to be informed has been and are prepared to take care of Deacon. I will have my cell phone with me so I can be contacted if really need be. I even contacted my teachers to inform them of my situation in case I get contacted during class.
Tomorrow I will put on my big girl panties, keep my phone close at hand and I will be calling to check on Deacon more often than usual. I will undoubtedly keep a closer eye on the time more than normal. In time, as the semester goes on, I will slowly relax and become more accustomed to having a less hands on role with Deacon during his school day. But in all seriousness, right now I am looking forward to Tuesday when I will be at home no more than 3 minutes away from his school!
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