A Single Mother

 

On a personal level, I have been a single mother for 3 years and 10 months. Yesterday, in the eyes of the law, I officially became a single mother to my four sons. The settlement came after many years and months of worry, tears, frustration, anger and self doubt. When I entered my lawyer’s office yesterday, I didn’t hesitate signing my name on several copies of the document. I had already spent yesterday morning re-reading the emotional abuse and its toll on me that I had written down to remind my heart why the marriage had to come to an end.

As with many mothers, I tend to forget that I am as important as my children are to me. I have been fighting to keep my sons safe and advocating for them in all of this, that on occasion, I did forget the emotional roller coaster I had been put through as well. I may at times feel sad, lonely, jealous of happy couples but I will also no longer have to worry about whether myself or my sons are being abused or neglected.

The kids and I have come a long way since October of 2007. We have grown to become our own little family with our special quirks, talents, traditions and inside jokes. We have made our own friends. We have made a house we all fell in love with a home. I look forward to having friends and my sons’ friends over.

I have become a better mother since the separation. I have grown to be more patient with the kids. I enjoy having my sons and doing things together as a family. I laugh more with them than ever before.

Diabetes, ADHD, anxiety issues, school, bills and everyday life may exhaust me, but I believe in doing the best I can to continue on this road that I have been blessed with. A door has just closed but another one opened and I intend to make the most of it for myself and my boys.